Confusion

Confusion

Confusion, Confusion

Is the other me

I really am

Confused…

Intimidated I am

Feeling close

Feeling in love

But not in love!

Confusion, Confusion

Is the other me

I really am

Confused…

--NP

You Said...

You said…

You said,

It’s lonely at the top;

I looked around,

It was lonelier in the crowd.

You said,

Your friends’ve taken you for granted;

Think again,

You could call someone a friend.

You said,

You’ve never gotten back what you gave;

So,

You Expected!

You said,

You were low and no one cared;

Did you hear?

Someone else’s silent tear?

Think buddy…

Think!

--NP

Of Eighty Things

Of Eighty Things

Makes me wonder why

You never get what you give.

They say you do.

I doubt.

I cared for someone;

Who never looked back at me.

Not that I wanted it,

But an ‘introspection’ proved it!

Was I a fool?

Because I cared?

Thinking thy was close,

I wonder!

I gave a hundred

(At places)

Got only eighty back

Did I give all?

Is life teasing me?

Trying to have a good laugh?

Well…it hurts, you know!

--NP

Not an invite...!

Not an invite…!

I don’t know what I find

In those cold walls,

Outside the window:

I don’t know what I stare.

What If see you here;

What if I see you there;

I don’t know

What I will say

I look here and there

Wanting to catch a glimpse of you.

Your voice is what I crave.

Your touch is what I miss.

I wish to meet you once,

Just once more…

‘Coz nothing is forgotten

Nothing at all!

Now I can’t really bear

The restlessness inside me

The loneliness around me

Don’t drool

In my dreams

Of the day

And night

Barge into my life

Take me away!

Walk into my life

And push me out of it.

I have wings;

Teach me to fly.

I have a heart;

Teach it to beat.

I have a mind;

Teach it to think.

I have feelings;

Teach me to sense.

Come again

Into my life

Or leave my mind

At once!

--NP

Waiting...

Waiting…

Once again this depressing blow;

Why it always happens, I don’t know.

I look out from these grills

Bars they are, I only shrill.

A gloomy cloud descends

It’s difficult, no one bends.

I get what I need

Not what I wanted always

It’s wrong to ask

You err if you ask

To breathe is wrong

To live is wrong

Yet I am being optimist

That’s all I can do for now

Dark clouds hover

I am waiting -

For seasons to change

For spring to come

Springs to burst

When birds fly free

Music in the air

Minds are calm

Relaxed and gay

When dreams are made of smiles

And days are bliss

Pleasant is the whether

Not hot not cold

Dumbstruck is life

Intricate it is

Confusing more

Thoughts are more

Words are few

I am just…waiting.

--NP

Life

Life

Life’s playing games with me

It always wins –

A cheater that it is!

Life’s playing pranks on me

Having a good laugh.

Can I have the last laugh?

Life’s burdening to me

Maybe even I am same to thee.

Lets loosen the strings to solace,

Lets open the doors to sanity,

Lets walk towards sanity,

Lets live in peace.

--NP

The Rising One

The Rising One

Lonely in a crowd,

Solace not found.

Like walking on a bed of thorns,

Plucking roses for people around.

This feeling of half -

Full or empty doesn’t count.

I have no hope left ;

But hope still beckons me.

Why is this struggle inside

All so strangulating?

Life was all smiles and grins ;

And now suddenly this hugeness arrives.

Life was game

And I wanted to play

But it’s now a contract

I dare not break.

Are these the only things?

Left now?

I maybe the have-not

But Now I bear not!

Who cares about the aged horse?

Now hear it from HORSE’s MOUTH

He now has a voice.

The sounds of the stoned heart,

Will now echo

To the people who ought to hear.

Who ‘should’ hear.

I don’t wish to fool anyone,

I don’t wish to hurt.

But,

When was the last time

Someone else thought
This for me?
I wonder…!

Start thinking…

‘Coz I am now starting to…

- NP

My Baby

My Baby

This parasite sucks

My My! Sucks my blood

Maybe…

More than just blood.

A burdened soul

That soul - burden-like

My back aches now ;

And will lifelong.

She wobbled in my womb.

Came out Caesar

And sucked on to me

Forever like a parasite.

My mind is weakened ;

My body is strained.

I can take this pain,

But no-more now

I wish I’d die

Right now

But it’ll kill my baby parasite.

Sucks on to me still…

- NP

The Cry

The Cry

I hear a cry,

I hear a moan

Who could it be?

Why did I hear?!

Oh, it’s so creepy

Oh ! Its so mysterious.

I walk in the room,

All happy and lost in tune.

I looked here and there,

But the person was nowhere.

Then what was that cry?

What was the moan?

Someone walked to me and pointing said :

Is that your heart bleeding?

Shocked I was to see my whimpering heart,

My poor little heart.

I caressed it,

But it could barely speak.

It was numb.

It was so dumb.

Probably out of words, it was

Or speech - it forgot.

- NP

Psychic me not

Psychic me not

My cell phone rings,

I know who it is.

The door thongs,

I know who knocks.

I start the book,

I know the end.

That cute dimpled-boy,

Loved the same song!

I know this is right

And that will be wrong.

You’re afraid?

Psychic - me not !

My intuition is strong,

A gut feeling is born.

Trust you,

More than me,

I trust you,

More than I

You’re always right,

Your good-great foresight.

You’re always there,

When others weren’t here.

You never dismay,

You never betray.

Sight is might

And you never bite /always right

I’ll trust you always…

- NP

Psychic me not

Psychic me not

My cell phone rings,

I know who it is.

The door thongs,

I know who knocks.

I start the book,

I know the end.

That cute dimpled-boy,

Loved the same song!

I know this is right

And that will be wrong.

You’re afraid?

Psychic - me not !

My intuition is strong,

A gut feeling is born.

Trust you,

More than me,

I trust you,

More than I

You’re always right,

Your good-great foresight.

You’re always there,

When others weren’t here.

You never dismay,

You never betray.

Sight is might

And you never bite /always right

I’ll trust you always…

- NP

The love-life connection

The love-life connection

Life is lovely,

Love is lively

Life craves love,

And when life-love meet,

Love carves out a life.

Life gives you the power to love,

And love gives you the energy to live.

- NP

Faulty Conceptions

Faulty Conceptions

What have I done?
What SHOULD have I done?

Those looks of dissonance
I can’t bear!
Those moan of despair,
I can’t hear!

Am I at fault?
I hope not.
I wish naught.

If the sky came down,
If fate turned around,
If luck turned bad,
And that was all that I had

Am I still at fault?
I hope not.

- NP

Want to : But can't too !

Want to : But can't too!

Heard you,
Saw you,
If only I could tell you –
How much I loved you…

The raindrops, waves and puddles
That saw us,
Are now in nowhere
In the air.

Moments so still,
Hours long – so short
All those times in which so lonely,
I yearned for you only.

Met you,
Liked you,
If only I could tell you –
How much I loved you…

Love is not the heart of life;
It’s only a part of life.
So they say.
May they say.

For that quote’s sake;
We have to depart.
We had to depart.
With a broken heart.

The hand that held,
A heart that cared,
All are lost :
But nothing said

Found you,
Lost you,
If only I could tell you –
How much I loved you…

- NP

Clouds

Clouds

Lazing around,

Sitting on the bound;

Lying on the bed,

I simply stared.

The idiot box did no good;

I simply stood,

Mood no good

Simply brood.

The windows and doors so opened;

The bright light not darkened.

Laughing by my side,

Mommy passes by -

The dragon sneers and moves by.

Now I see Ms. Puffy :

Huffy Duffy

My baby li’l sis, you cuffy cuffy?

Speak, speak Mr. Elephant

You are not an infant

How do you just sail through?

One passes by

And the other sweeps by

Shape differ

From one another.

I lie,

The clouds pass by,

Leaves me in wonder

As I stare in azure

Who creates these?

Clouds at peace,

Sky at ease,

Is it the fizz?

Dancing to the tunes,

No music to hear

The tribal passes by

Oh dear oh dear!

Makes me wonder

What a wonder

A Second world,

Good God kept in between!

- NP

‘Despair’ is the word !

‘Despair’ is the word !

Lived like a bird,

albeit in a cage

With moments of happiness -

Smiles, frowns and grins.

But now just a gloom prevails;

Nothing but loneliness dwells.

I give myself some company.

How will anyone else hear a symphony?!

I have wings :

Now with strings attached.

I am on a donkey’s back now,

(Hope he carries me!)

But won’t be sorry;

If he throws my body

‘Coz hopelessness

Has now surfaced.

The crimpled tweak

No more a steak

I owe no one nothing

But will have to,

Someone, something

After my death,

(Hope he takes me soon)

Love you Lord!

-NP

I’ve learnt to lie...

I’ve learnt to lie

Hands cuffed,

A muffled cry,

Lashes fly,

I’ve learnt to cry

And lie…

A difficult task,

A face to mask,

My eyes are dry,

I’ve learnt to cry

And lie…

A smiling face

For the spirits around,

No fear in the I

I’ve learnt to cry

And lie…

Thorns so many,

Roses so roses.

Oozing RED,

I’ve learnt to cry

And lie…

People smile,

Trample upon;

And smile back.

Others have learnt to cheat

And lie…

But I still cry

And I still lie…

- NP

IL- PIL

IL- PIL

Am I at ‘il’

Dad says; “at your will”

Life’s twists and turns

Lifelong burns.

Swear the leveller, I wish to die

Of the creator; I don’t buy.

I wish to fly, I wish to soar

But mom says – “no more no more”

I wanted to leap high

But brother told me ‘bye’

Am I at ‘il’, I ask

Mom says; “you will !”

Am I at ‘il’

Bro says; “who will?”

Am I at ‘il’

I am A PIL

- NP

The Tip

The Tip

Hold me falling
Help me falling

No I don’t wish to live nomore
Nomore for my ailing father!
Nomore for my ailing mother?
Nomore Nomore

Hold me
Hold me falling
Help me
Help me falling

The heights are far
The deeps so wide
I wish to live and I wish to die
And live again

Hold me falling
Help me falling

The symphony of knell
The euphony of death
My hand will not hold for long
Oh! I see the crocs below
Ages not fed
Oh no! The guards!
The devils and the sea

Me falling Me falling
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Did I vanish in between?

- NP